Sunday, May 09, 2004

Found in my email

George W. Bush

APOLOGY Form 3331776
(PLEASE FILL OUT ALL BLANKS or form will be invalidated)


Prisoner # ___________
Nationality: Iraqi _____ Palestinian _____ Afghan_________ African American ________ Latino _______ Other _______
Location: Abu Ghraib ____ Guantanamo ______ Haifa ______Fort Benning GA _______NY Correctional Facility _______
Gender: MALE___ FEMALE___
Level of sincerity: 1-10 (choose one) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Degree of Mutilation: 1-10 (choose one) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Gift basket: Yes No
Send BIBLE Gold leaf Regular
Halliburton Discount coupons: Yes No
Autographed picture of GWB: Yes No
Flight suit replica insert: Yes No
Flag: (choose one only) Standard (with Allah reference)New (no Allah reference)
Card from Laura: Yes No
Burger King Gift Certificate: Whopper Regular

Dear Mr and Mrs (insert parents' name here) _________,

I, President George W. Bush, on behalf of myself and The Wonderful American People, wish to extend my

deepest __
most sincere ___
belated ___
apologies on the unfortunate
abuse _______
torture _______
sexual humiliation_______
death _______
of your (choose one) son__ daughter __,(insert abusee/torturee/corpse/ name here)______________.

He/she (choose one only) was made to
perform forced sex _____
masturbate ____
lie on other prisoners naked _____
wear a leash and walk like a doggie____
wear a hood _____
endure electric shock ______
eat pork _____
by one of our
normally brave soldiers ____
civilian contractors ___
CIA Ops _______
Embedded Journalists ____
who are normally fighting for the great causes of freedom, democracy, and liberation.

We want you to know that (insert first name here) _____________ was/is a very special (insert gender here) ____, and endured
suffered abuse ____
suffered humiliation____
was raped ___
died _____
in the most heroic and courageous way.

The actions by our
normally brave soldiers ___
civilian contractors ___
CIA Ops ____
Embedded Journalists ___
do NOT reflect what I know to be AMERICA or The AMERICAN PEOPLE.

Our War on Global Terrorism will go on, and we will be victorious, due to the sacrifice of men/women like (insert name here)______.

(If necessary:)
Please let us
profusely __
genuinely ___
Omit __
apologize for not being able to attend the funeral.

Sincerely yours,

George W. Bush
Commander - In- Thief
United States of America

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