Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Three little pigs

"Hmmmm....the Presidential Medal of Freedom....who in all the world could POSSIBLY be worthy of the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

Three giant fuckups, of course. Who else? This is the Bush administration, where fucking up means never having to say your sorry.

1) George "Moe" Tenet, the man who said that the existence of WMDs in Iraq was a "slam dunk." Since Bush can't POSSIBLY take responsibility for HIS fuckups, the reason for starting a war on the basis of false intelligence has been laid squarely at the feet of Tenet. So of COURSE Bush believes that he warrants an award. Tenet screwed up like few men in the histry of America, but gave George the excuse he needed.

2) Paul "Larry" Bremer, our first choice as Iraq's very own King Herod. Bremer, of course, is best known for presiding over a quagmire-that-was-supposed-to-be-a-cakewalk. He also pulled of a brilliant move by dissolving the Iraqi Army, which of course gave the insurgency a far easier time than they would have otherwise had. If there was no Bremer, we may well have been out of there sooner, and Bush couldn't have that.

3) Tommy "Curly" Franks, the general who led our forces, and showed how the most powerful Army in world could have a really, really hard time with a third-world country. His finest moment came when he had Bin Laden cornered in Tora Bora, and turned the job over to Afghan warlords, thus allowing him to escape. Bush is, no doubt, especially grateful for this, since if Bin Laden had been captured, he may not have had an excuse to go into Iraq.

Some hat trick, George. And, just as an added plus, you took a civilian award and gave it to war figures. What a guy.

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