Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Things to say that will ingratiate you when meeting with the Pope

Call him "Fishhead."

"What wrong with Iraq? Here in America, Christians LIKE war. Didn't Jesus?"

"Why isn't the Vatican in Salt Lake City?"

"I thought the Pope had to be a Dago."

"Why didn't you name yourself 'George Ringo'?

"If priests can be gay, why can't lay people?"

"If you're a Christian, how come you wear a yarmulke"?

"Have you ever seen a character named 'Simon Bar-Sinister' from Underdog"?

"You know what would be a good Pope name? 'Suburban the First.'"

"Here, read this. It's 95 Theses on women's ordination and gay clergy."

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