What many liberals and progressives don’t seem to understand is that banning Christmas is the linchpin of our entire agenda. As Mr. O’Reilly once astutely noted, the war on Christmas is “part of the secular-progressive agenda to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square” and pave the way for “secular progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, [and] gay marriage.” When the man is right, he's right.
I for one understand that Christmas is the only thing standing between me and my lifelong dream of euthanizing my relatives, grabbing their inheritance, buying lots of drugs, getting a sex change, and marrying a lesbian. If Nancy Pelosi is as dedicated to her San Francisco values as the conservative media say she is, then she should put ending Christmas and subsidizing my lifestyle at the top of her legislative agenda. After all, if Speaker Pelosi decided to forsake destroying Christmas in favor other policies, it could signal that the right-wing punditocracy has been exaggerating the left’s ambitions to abolish religion from the public square all along. And, really, what are the chances of that?